The Internet Never Lies!

By (sort of) popular demand, here is one picture from Halloween. I should wear this wig more often, y/y? Full costume pic is over on Facebook for people I trust irl not to spread it around the internet at large and call me fat. =P

(click to embiggen)



Some day I will make a real post again; do not despair, LJ friends!

Kids, this are some real life serious business here.

If I link you to my journal of linguistics notes, can you keep it on the DL and comment without being a-holes or telling any trolls or jerkwads about it? I really, really am trying to write my thesis about internet linguistics and I really, really would like to have input from you guys on my random journal entries, since everyone has different internet experiences and whatnot and I'm dead sure you guys will know stuff I don't and be able to tell me about really interesting things I could look at, but I am going to tell my honest to god real life thesis advisor about it so he can look at my ideas and notes and quite frankly I don't need jerky internet people getting me in trouble over this and endangering my topic. And I don't want to f-lock it either, because I don't want to force my advisor or anyone else in the department to make LJs just so they can read it and comment (frankly I don't know how tech-savvy they all are to begin with, but it strikes me as maybe a tad rude anyway).

So, let me know if you want to read and can refrain from being a jerk, OR if you have any advice about how better to handle a public journal without craziness let me know about that too. =/

Hey kids. I have been gone for about 2 weeks, and since my home computer is now off getting a new logic board I'm not doing a great job at catching up on the ol' flist or s_f or sf_d or sfd_ot or anything. I mean I skimmed, and Jerry's puppies are so goddamn cute, but then I saw this and pretty much ran out of tolerance. You guys know I generally don't ask you to do shit, but if you happen to run across any more useful info or [legitimate] petitions or whatnot opposing this idiotry, link me, would you? Some assholes somewhere might think it's fine to classify contraception as abortion, but as a woman and a linguist, it's my professional opinion that those assholes need to get some dictionaries and some sociology books and cram them up their fundie colons.

Also, since I am feeling pretty crappy about a number of things thanks to the efforts of several individuals who really seem to think I need even more reasons to mope around, here is a shameless fishing meme. Answer it to make up for these jerks or you're excommunicated. (Just kidding, ilu e-friends. But please feed my ego a little.)

One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind that you're not so bad in other people's eyes after all.

A thought occurs to me: I have a brand new digital camera, and also a lot of brand new LJ friends and other people who have not yet been exposed to my (incessant, ridiculous, completely irritating) whining about not knowing what to do with my hair any more! LJ MATH IS FUN, Y'ALL. You are hereby recruited as my hair dye consulting team.

( Here be some pictures )

( And here be some perseveration over options )

I also need to cut some off. Tell me how much and I'll probably take the average of what you guys come up with. =P

Help me, flist, you're my only hope! Or something.

Oh hey, Internet Friends. I am apparently slow in the head and just noticed a bunch of you friended me when I wasn't looking, probably from previous rounds of sf_d Friendocalypse or something. Well, hello, and rest assured I will be this batty pretty much all the time. Anyone here from the current round of Friendocalypse... I guess I'll try to do better this time. =P

Someday I will post something remotely substantive. Today is not that day.

Post a reply and I will:

A) tell you why I friended you,
B) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, etc.,
C) tell you something I like about you,
D) tell you a memory I have of you,
E) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
F) tell you my favorite user pic of yours,
G) in return, you must post this in your LJ.

Fun times?

Since the flist is so busy today I feel like I should say something.

Dear LJ, yesterday while walking entirely too far in the heels I wore to work, because of my stupid flat tire and my need to get to class anyway, I saw a fluffy squirrel happily eating a cigarette butt. Apparently, it was delicious.

Love,
Carolyn

*

Reply to this post, and I will list three things I love about you. Maybe more than three.

Then repost to your own journal and spread the love.

*

#1.

Dear Michigan "Feminist" Community,

Sure, OK, you're "empowered" and whatnot. Fine, congratulations on your little vagina mafia, continue patting yourselves on the back. But the transphobia has GOT TO STOP now. It's seriously not cute anymore and your utter lack of a sense of irony is more than a little embarrasing, as are your childish exclusionary tactics, which might be rivaled only by The Simpsons "Society of No Homers" in terms of membership definitions even a kindergartener would feel constituted cheating. You can't have it both ways, especially if you continue insisting on viewing gender as social construct. The past, present or future status of other people's genitals is not and has never been your business. Oh and by the way, if you keep spelling "women" with a "y" I will beat in your motherfucking skulls with an etymology reference.

No love,
Carolyn

P.S. You owe my sister an apology too, for your reputation making me say mean things about her group's most likely harmless vagina cheerleading party even though she isn't like you at all. (Sorry sis.) (Unless you're secretly a transphobic jerk too.) (In which case gtfo.) (But I know you're not.)



#2.

Dear White People,

No, your dreadlocks do not look ok. And no, not everyone can really have "natural" dreads, and no, your natural dreads ESPECIALLY do not look ok. They look like you need a comb and some scissors, and I actually LIKE dreadlocks. Even most black people who keep dreads, who have MUCH BETTER HAIR for dreadlocks than you do, go to someone to have them locked up and fixed every so often so they don't look like a ratty junkyard dog (and yeah, you DO look like a ratty junkyard dog) or at the very least do more maintenance than "just not brushing." Even Komondors need help to get nice-looking cords rather than gross mats. Your lack of irony is almost as hilarious as the feminists above, since you keep complaining that everyone thinks people with dreads never wash them, but YOURS are almost always the ones that make people think that, since they're usually the nastiest-looking (and smelling) ones. If you insist on keeping up with both the inane whining and the cultural appropriation (yes, it is. Arguing will only make you look stupider.) at least try to minimize the shame you bring to the rest of us and get your dreads locked up in a reasonably expeditious manner rather than spending 3-4 years walking around looking in dire need of a personal grooming instruction manual before you even get any felting at all. (Sorry Shan, but I know you're done with them now anyway.)

Grow the hell up and look at yourself,
Carolyn

Living with a lot of flashes of old dreams lately. A smell, a color, my hair brushing across my face. The way the light looks. A certain gesture. Air moving in a becalmed room.

No songs, though: the songs are all new. The last scene of a movie, the protagonist pauses for a memory, the soundtrack is something nobody's ever hear of; just haunting enough for effect but not catchy enough to become popular, thus ensuring the viewers see that scene behind their eyes whenever they hear the song. You know the formula. My ghosts have gotten themselves a producer.